In extreme situations, disputes over money are a battle for power, which is more often the case in very traditional household situations, Newman said.
Though traditional gender roles are changing, financial advisors say, many couples still adhere to them, with men generally taking the lead on finances. If the other person is left purposefully in the dark and uncomfortable with that, it’s a problem, she said.
“An allowance can be a budgeting tool but if it’s used as a method of control that can quickly destroy a marriage,” Newman said.
In each case, whether it applies to your own relationship or not, start a conversation about what money means to you and your aspirations for the future, Newman said.
“Money isn’t just about buying milk; it represents safety and long-term goals,” she said.